My childhood

My friend and I as a little girl

I was born on July 9th, 1995 in Chicago Illinois. I was named  Karina Irma Rivera Rojas. My parents got my name Karina  from a character out of a Spanish soap opera; Irma was my dad's mother's name. I never got to meet her since she passed before I was born. It hurt not having the chance to meet my grandmother who everyone describes as the most beautiful, smart and kind woman. I remember that my parents used to take me to so many places such as the park, beach, and movie theater. I had a great childhood that I would never forget.

When I turned two years old my parents got separated. I was sent to Puerto Rico with my mother's parents. I had lost all communication with my parents  after I went to live with my grandparents. To me they were like my parents and I couldn't have asked for better grandparents. They were the best grandparents in the world. It was three years before I saw my mother again; she moved to Puerto Rico. It was also the first time I met my little brother Christopher who was 8 months old when they moved in with us. I was happy to have my mother back after all those years left behind without seeing her. My mother started to visit church with me and my brother. I liked the fact of going with my mother to church because I started to meet other kids. While time was passing, my mother met this nice guy in church and they started dating. They got married and my mom had her third child who is my little sister named Eunice. She was so adorable as a baby. I remember my mother used to give her to me so I could carry her on my lap.

When I was nine years old I was going to church and suddenly one of my friends from church told me to go outside and when I did I saw my father standing there. I couldn't believe it; it was like a dream come true, I was the happiest girl in the world that day. We embraced so tightly, kissed and cried together. It had been seven years and I missed him so much. We had a wonderful time together. He took me out to eat pizza, we talked and caught up on things. He also took me to the arcade and I beat him at all the games. He stayed for a few days and that was the last time I saw him, it's been ten years since that day. We still talk once in a while, but I haven't seen him. I hope one day not so far from now I will be able to see and hug him and spend some time with my father.

Now that I'm all grown up I miss those days when I didn't have to worry about anything because I knew my parents were always going to be there for me, but that's the thought of a little girl. As you grow up you realize that you can't have everything you want in this life. I have learned that is a part of this life.

My graduation day

Graduation

My graduation was the best day ever; I spent a great time with all my friends. I was waiting a long time for this day to arrive and  finally it came, "my graduation day".

I was so excited and nervous at the same time. I knew it was going to be a great day for my friends and I. The graduation was dedicated to a really good teacher named Ms. Santiago, they decided to dedicate it to her because she was going to retire. The Masters of ceremonies are the ones that tell the program of what is going to be due in the graduation. Both students started talking and giving the program. First they called a group of students who gave a dance performance, then some girls sang, finally the ceremony started, that is when the teachers called all students to give us the medals and certificates. So far we were having a good time. Everything was really great. I enjoyed every minute of my graduation.  


After the graduation we all went out to dinner with our parents. We arrived to the restaurant, sat down ready to order. and while waiting we started to talk and make some jokes. We laughed, and told each other our good and not such good stories of high school. It was a moment  I will never forget. Night fell and it was time to say goodbye and go to our houses. As we were saying goodbye tears started to fall from our eyes.


I felt sad, because I knew that was going to be the last time spent with them. Although I knew we would keep in touch,  it wasn't going to be the same as if we were still in high school. In high school we were always together, but something inside of me knew that once we graduated we would move apart.

But even though I felt sad, part of me felt really happy being able to graduate and have my diploma. In Puerto Rico everyone has the advantage of study, but not everyone takes that opportunity. It feels wonderful that I finally could  accomplish my goal. I was exited about going to college and experiment with new things. I guess all of us feels the same way at first, but then you realize that it is not as easy as you think it would be. 

Many of us would go to different colleges here and abroad; but the amazing thing is that I knew I would have my high school friends for ever. What made it all even harder was that my parents decided to move to Connecticut leaving all my friends behind, but we all keep in touch either by emails or facebook. Hopefully I can go on vacation to Puerto Rico and reunite with them and have a great time together like old times.

My best friend and I

I

Leaving my contry

 

                                                               Leaving my country

Old San Juan

I left Puerto Rico when I was 18 years old. Moving here was a big step for me.  I knew I was going to  miss my homeland, but I knew I was changing my life for the better.

At first I was only coming to help out my aunt with her pregnancy and stay with them a short time after the birth. It was  supposed to be an extended vacation, at least that’s what I thought. As the days passed I contemplated if I should stay or go back to Puerto Rico. It was fun staying with my aunt and her husband but only for vacation. My plan was to stay for a little while, just to spend time with my aunt and my cousins, and see how life was here, until I had an idea of what to do with my life.

The time that I had spent here with them at first was great, because we used to go to many places. One of the places they took me was a museum called 'Madame' in New York. We had an amazing time together in that place looking at the statues.

Then, one day I received a call from my mother and she told me she wanted to move to Connecticut. I realized I didn’t want to move to such a place, but I had no choice. The idea of not going back to Puerto Rico made me angry because I wasn't going to see my family and friends for a very long time. I realized that my life in Puerto Rico was so much fun.

 What I miss about Puerto Rico is the idea of being in a tropical country. There are many different things you can do anytime of the year, such as going to the beach, park, clubs, hotels, or  just hangout with friends. I miss my friends who I grew up with; we were like family and we used to do everything together. We could take trips any day of the week to Old San Juan and enjoy the night life, tourist and locals enjoying the historic site of this beautiful city, and no matter how many times we went there, we always learned something new about it. Actually we could do just about anything everyday it didn’t matter, we would go to the beach right after class, we could go to the local “Pub” and play pool, go to the mall, the movies or just go to each other’s house and just hangout.

There were the seasonal street festivals that happened throughout the year, with live music, food, and lots of fun. They were simple things but fun and exciting with good friends. And here I have none of those things. I don’t have the good friend that I can trust like family, I don’t have as many things to do, especially during the weekends. And I’m not sure if I can ever get used to things here. I ask myself if this was a good idea, leaving everything I knew and enjoyed and starting fresh.

I feel lost and alone most of the time and it makes me sad. In Puerto Rico I never felt this way. Puerto Rico may be a small island but there are a lot of things to do, a lot to stay happy!! 

I think leaving my country was the hardest think I had to do. Now I've been her for a year and three months and I still can't  get used to this country. 

My grandparents pass away

My grandparents pass away

When I was two years old I lived in Puerto Rico and my mother decided to move to the United States. She left me with my grandparents and they raised me until the age of eight. I was the baby of the house and they completely spoiled me. They took me everywhere, to the park, the beach, the river they took me to every place you can think of.

river



beach
 

 

 

 

 

 

park

 

My grandfather taught me how to ride a bike, we played hide and seek, played cards and watched movies together. My grandmother was the best cook ever, everything she cooked was delicious, I loved her food. Every night before bed she would give me a bottle of milk so I would fall asleep. It was the best childhood I could have had.

 

grandparents

 

My mother returned when I was eight and she wanted me to move back with her but I didn’t want to, I felt abandoned by her when she left me with my grandparents. I was angry and hurt, I thought she didn’t love me and that’s why she left me. She waited until I had grown and was able to understand. She explained to me why she went to the United States and left me with my grandparents. I understood her reasoning and forgave her. I have no regret that she left me with my grandparents. I think it was the best things that could have happened and I’m glad I was raised by them.

After I started living with my mother I would still stay with my grandparents. I would stay more with them than with my mother. I couldn’t imagine my life without my grandparents.

 In May 13, 2010 I was at my aunt’s house when she got a call from my grandmother saying that my granddad wasn’t feeling well. We rushed to their house and by the time we had arrived he had been rushed to the hospital. We waited at home for news. When we received the call about his condition, it was a massive heart attack. They told us he passed away. The worst thing was that I wasn’t able to say goodbye to him and let him know how much I loved him. I cried for days afterwards, I could not imagine life without him. I knew that it was going to be difficult for me to move forward.

granddad

My grandmother moved with my aunt after my grandfather passed. One day we took her to the doctors for a routine checkup and the doctor told her that she had Cancer. It was tough news to swallow so soon after my grandfather’s death. She was put on chemotherapy and things were going fine; so we thought. Unfortunately the chemotherapy wasn’t working and on January 3 2011, less than a year after losing my grandfather I lost her as well. It was another horrible day in my life. I never imagined I would lose them so soon. I always thought they would be in my life forever.

my aunt

my grandma and mother
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t going to be able to talk to them, go to the beach, the river or the mall ever again with them. I had to accept the fact that they were no longer going to be with us for Christmas, my birthday or any special occasion. It’s sad to even think about it now.

I learned that in life nothing is forever, I have lost the most beloved people in my life aside from my parents. I have had to learn to live without them in my life these past few years, I know that they are in a better place, that they are at peace, but that still hasn’t made it easy for me. I miss them dearly and always will.

 

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My Christmas vacation

              

           My Christmas vacation

On December 23, 2011 I went on a family vacation to Chicago to surprise my aunt. It had taken us almost 14 hours to make the trip from Connecticut; we were excited to finally make it. It had been almost 3 years since we had seen each other and she was extremely surprised and amazed when she saw us there. After all the excitement had settled down we sat down for dinner and caught up on those past 3 years. We talked about everything that had happened in our lives during those years. It was an amazing day.

 The next day was Christmas and we visited my aunt’s mother in-laws house's. There we played dominoes, ate traditional Puerto Rican holiday food. We had a lot of fun.

                                   







That evening we went to downtown Chicago to see the Christmas tree and the Light House, we were  once again all together like a big happy family. When we got back to my aunt's house the kids opened their gifts, they were excited and filled with joy. It was a very emotional moment celebrating Christmas together after so many years.













Christmas was over and we passed the next few days going to the park and playing in the snow, throwing snow balls at each other and we even made snow angels. The only bad thing about all this was how cold it was for me, but even though it was very cold I had an amazing time.

       

New Year’s Eve came and we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant. We ate burritos, tacos and  rice. After we finished eating we stayed up talking and joking around. We were all happy and enjoying our New Year’s Eve.











The time had arrived for us to say goodbye to the old year and welcome in the New Year. When there were only 5 seconds left the countdown began and when the clock hit 12 O’clock everyone yelled HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! We hugged, we laughed, we danced and sang, we had an amazing New Year’s celebration.

The next day it was time to say goodbye and go back home to Connecticut. It was an extremely sad moment. We all cried as we hugged and said our goodbye. On our trip back home we got caught in a snowstorm and it took us nearly 24 hours to make it back. Everyone was exhausted and glad to finally make it back. It was my first time on such a long trip and despite the long hours and the snowstorm. It was a great experience and I would love to do it again someday.

It was one of the best Christmas Holiday's I had in years but at the same time it was a bitter sweet one. There were two very special people missing that year. It was the first year we celebrated Christmas without our grandparents since they passed away. They’re in a much better place now but I still miss them dearly but not one second has passed that they were not in our thoughts.