Thursday, October 30, 2014

Leaving my contry

 
                                                               Leaving my country
Old San Juan
I left Puerto Rico when I was 18 years old. Moving here was a big step for me.  I knew I was going to  miss my homeland, but I knew I was changing my life for the better.
At first I was only coming to help out my aunt with her pregnancy and stay with them a short time after the birth. It was  supposed to be an extended vacation, at least that’s what I thought. As the days passed I contemplated if I should stay or go back to Puerto Rico. It was fun staying with my aunt and her husband but only for vacation. My plan was to stay for a little while, just to spend time with my aunt and my cousins, and see how life was here, until I had an idea of what to do with my life.

The time that I had spent here with them at first was great, because we used to go to many places. One of the places they took me was a museum called 'Madame' in New York. We had an amazing time together in that place looking at the statues.
Then, one day I received a call from my mother and she told me she wanted to move to Connecticut. I realized I didn’t want to move to such a place, but I had no choice. The idea of not going back to Puerto Rico made me angry because I wasn't going to see my family and friends for a very long time. I realized that my life in Puerto Rico was so much fun.

 What I miss about Puerto Rico is the idea of being in a tropical country. There are many different things you can do anytime of the year, such as going to the beach, park, clubs, hotels, or  just hangout with friends. I miss my friends who I grew up with; we were like family and we used to do everything together. We could take trips any day of the week to Old San Juan and enjoy the night life, tourist and locals enjoying the historic site of this beautiful city, and no matter how many times we went there, we always learned something new about it. Actually we could do just about anything everyday it didn’t matter, we would go to the beach right after class, we could go to the local “Pub” and play pool, go to the mall, the movies or just go to each other’s house and just hangout.

There were the seasonal street festivals that happened throughout the year, with live music, food, and lots of fun. They were simple things but fun and exciting with good friends. And here I have none of those things. I don’t have the good friend that I can trust like family, I don’t have as many things to do, especially during the weekends. And I’m not sure if I can ever get used to things here. I ask myself if this was a good idea, leaving everything I knew and enjoyed and starting fresh.

I feel lost and alone most of the time and it makes me sad. In Puerto Rico I never felt this way. Puerto Rico may be a small island but there are a lot of things to do, a lot to stay happy!!
 

I think leaving my country was the hardest think I had to do. Now I've been her for a year and three months and I still can't  get used to this country. 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

My grandparents pass away




My grandparents pass away




When I was two years old I lived in Puerto Rico and my mother decided to move to the United States. She left me with my grandparents and they raised me until the age of eight. I was the baby of the house and they completely spoiled me. They took me everywhere, to the park, the beach, the river they took me to every place you can think of.
river


beach
 

 
 
 
 
 
park
 
My grandfather taught me how to ride a bike, we played hide and seek, played cards and watched movies together. My grandmother was the best cook ever, everything she cooked was delicious, I loved her food. Every night before bed she would give me a bottle of milk so I would fall asleep. It was the best childhood I could have had.
 
grandparents
 
My mother returned when I was eight and she wanted me to move back with her but I didn’t want to, I felt abandoned by her when she left me with my grandparents. I was angry and hurt, I thought she didn’t love me and that’s why she left me. She waited until I had grown and was able to understand. She explained to me why she went to the United States and left me with my grandparents. I understood her reasoning and forgave her. I have no regret that she left me with my grandparents. I think it was the best things that could have happened and I’m glad I was raised by them.
After I started living with my mother I would still stay with my grandparents. I would stay more with them than with my mother. I couldn’t imagine my life without my grandparents.

 In May 13, 2010 I was at my aunt’s house when she got a call from my grandmother saying that my granddad wasn’t feeling well. We rushed to their house and by the time we had arrived he had been rushed to the hospital. We waited at home for news. When we received the call about his condition, it was a massive heart attack. They told us he passed away. The worst thing was that I wasn’t able to say goodbye to him and let him know how much I loved him. I cried for days afterwards, I could not imagine life without him. I knew that it was going to be difficult for me to move forward.
granddad
My grandmother moved with my aunt after my grandfather passed. One day we took her to the doctors for a routine checkup and the doctor told her that she had Cancer. It was tough news to swallow so soon after my grandfather’s death. She was put on chemotherapy and things were going fine; so we thought. Unfortunately the chemotherapy wasn’t working and on January 3 2011, less than a year after losing my grandfather I lost her as well. It was another horrible day in my life. I never imagined I would lose them so soon. I always thought they would be in my life forever.
my aunt
my grandma and mother
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t going to be able to talk to them, go to the beach, the river or the mall ever again with them. I had to accept the fact that they were no longer going to be with us for Christmas, my birthday or any special occasion. It’s sad to even think about it now.
I learned that in life nothing is forever, I have lost the most beloved people in my life aside from my parents. I have had to learn to live without them in my life these past few years, I know that they are in a better place, that they are at peace, but that still hasn’t made it easy for me. I miss them dearly and always will.